Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Landfall ( I )

"The o'Mighty Gracef'l Shipmasters decreed it, They did.'Eard it wi' me own eyes this very wakin' hour, I did!"

"Well now I know you're lying.'Heard' it with your 'eyes'? Hey Var, get a load o' this mushbrain scallopgrafter! Ha!" Ooplo slapped the side of the tank with a mighty fist and belched a series of guffaws.

The little farmzod's eyes darted back and forth between the two brutish mechands, cringing at the booming sound of their laughter. "'At's..." He started, and then raised his voice to be heard. "Oy! 'At's not wot I meaned! I meaned seened. Seened wi' me ears is wot I meaned, I did. An' no joke, neither! They said to us—"

"Hey look," chuckled Varantz as he pointed at the farmzod and elbowed the other mechand in the ribs. "He's... he's like a.... He's like a volofruit!!"

"BAAAAHAHAAA!!!" Ooplo was laughing so hard his face bulged red, and a thin whine escaped his throat as he fought to catch his breath.

The farmzod sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, don' beleeb me. Do as wot suits you nice; jus' wait 'til the time comes, an' you lot'll miss out on a count o' you din see fit to beleeb the tooth in wot I be sayin'. It won' dee-sturb me nohow, it won't."

"Wai... wait," Ooplo wheezed. "I think the little veggiescab is actually trying to tell us something." Chest heaving and tears streaming down his soot-caked cheeks, he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and stared intently into the farmzod's eyes. The farmzod rolled them once more, but seemed suddenly less uptight now that he was being taken seriously.

"Now. What was it you think you heard, little one?" Ooplo said.

Varantz erupted with a fresh bout of sniggering. "Or saw?"

"Shut it," Ooplo barked, signaling for the farmzod to speak. The other mechand sobered immediately.

The farmzod folded his skinny arms and made a show of glancing over his shoulders to make sure they were alone. It was a particularly pointless gesture, because he was sitting with his back to the wall. "'Struth, I say," he hissed in a whisper louder than his normal speaking voice. "First time the o'Mighty Gracef'l Shipmasters deigned to make a announciation in months, see. You mechands down 'ere wi' your machines an' pipe tunnels an' all, you think us planters get blessed an' get pressies every day, but let me tell you—"

"Get on with it, dirtboy," Ooplo growled.

A vacant look came over the farmzod's features. He sniffed twice, pulled a string of grimy black snot from a nostril with the end of his little finger, and wiped it on his leathery forearm. "Right," he continued. "Well as I was sayin', They ain't made a announciation in months. An' 'ere They are this mornin', as sudden as a fart outa me mum's bum, a-speakin' to us right an' proper from the Big-panel jus' like they never left, see? Jus' like They was the lovin' Mothers an' Fathers They was o'vold, see? Only this time it weren't no 'Plant this, harvest that, get to work you lot;' no, I say! They was all eyes-a-glowin' an'—"

Varantz groaned.

The farmzod sat up straight. "Right." Wot they say was, Our Great Mother Ship, see, She's goin' to make Lan'fall within th' year, She is."

The two mechands sat stunned for a long moment. "Landfall?" Ooplo finally snorted. "You sure you heard right?"

"'At's wot I said; Lan'fall! Showed us clear as a drunk sot's piss on th' Big-panel, They did!" The little farmzod was blinking rapidly, quivering in anticipation of the praise he obviously felt he deserved for divulging this information.

"Showed you what, exactly?" Varantz's jaw was rigid. Ooplo sat still as a box of lead bolts, one hand frozen on his chin below a pair of slightly parted lips. There was not a trace of laughter left in either of the mechands' eyes.

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